i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
My feet surprised me
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize