i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
