i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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