drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
