do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
