trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
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