I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Randomize
