oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
