she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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