We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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