she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize