Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
