remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
