i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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