I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
