I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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