Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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