i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
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