He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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