I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize