i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
