I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
