this beer tastes like vomit already
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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