Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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