I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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