The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
