This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
