thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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