You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize
