He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
And then he peed in my hair
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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