so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
