Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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