You made me cry and you don't even care
My hand turned me down
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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