I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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