So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
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