We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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