never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
