I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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