Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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