You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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