Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
