I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
is that a dick in a sweater?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
