you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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