I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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