I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
