oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just gift wrapped bread.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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