Im at strip club and am horny
Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
