Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
