She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
