We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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