this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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