just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
