Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
