She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
There's always time for handjobs
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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