dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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