doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
