none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
