i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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