if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Im part way to drunk.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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