He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I have fence marks all over my body
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
