Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
