I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
