If i come over, it means nothing
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
two words...techno handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
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