So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
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