Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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